What is the most important thing to me turns out to be something that can be both so simple but also very complicated to achieve. When it comes to a writing, I would safely say I am driven by a great amount of passion. A passion to better myself, a passion to reach an emotion with my art, triggering something in myself and my readers.
I am aware many people obsess over their chosen medium (be it painting, sculpting, writing, sewing) because at the end of the day it what makes them happy. We end up sacrificing so much time and money because it makes us happy and feel accomplished. But I’ve noticed at some point, all of that changes.
I have gone to a lot of conventions during my time as a published author, but I think the most eye opening experience for me was my very first convention.
Yes, I was a little overwhelmed and under prepared, turning the two day weekend into short bursts of panicking episodes, but that isn’t what I took away from the experience.
I was lucky enough to sit next to two accomplished and very talented creators. The guy to the right of me was a comic book artist while the guy to the left of me focused more on children’s books. Both were very popular and were constantly busy with people crowding their merchandise. In comparison, my table felt very small and very plain. I had very realistic expectations of myself and people’s reactions to me, so I wasn’t too focus on hitting any big sale numbers. It was my first time, and I was just there to enjoy the ride.
Now, the guy to my right had many, many admirers and very enthusiastic fans who were almost jumping over the table to shake his hand. I will admit, my sense of awe held a hint of jealously, because that’s what I wanted. To be able to share my work and bond with others. But, I also understood how many hours he would’ve put into his work, and I knew he deserved every bit of praise thrown his way. I really looked up to him, thinking he must be absolutely over the moon with joy.
So, when it had quietened down a bit, I leant over and expressed how happy he must be to be received so well by others. I mean, even I was glowing pink and the appreciation wasn’t even thrown my way. But he said to me, “I’m not happy. I only take compliments in the form of dollar bills.”
This hit me hard.
What did that mean?
It meant, to him, the end game was sales. He wasn’t happy unless there was a lot of profit involved. It totally threw me off balance, making me think that’s what was meant to be the end game. That’s what I am meant to be reaching for. Sales. And if I wasn’t achieving that, I should be disappointed in myself.
So, I looked over to the guy to the left of me and he was selling very well and had a very well-known publisher supporting him. I figured, so he must be very happy. He has sales coming out of his ears, he must be what I have to aim for. Just remember, I am very new at this so I was looking to other artists to gauge if what I was doing was correct and trying to learn from them.
But, just by looking at him it felt very depressing. He never looked up from his sketches to interact with the people swarming his table. He never smiled. He never spoke to anyone. Now, it may be a personality trait to be so withdrawn, but it was interesting to see someone who is doing so well in a very personal chosen craft seem so miserable. He would sketch and then slap on a price tag. That’s it. No emotion. He was so disconnected from the world I had to reach over and tap his shoulder so he would acknowledge the customer waiting for him at the front of his table.
Many artists and writers would say it would be their dream to be able to do their chosen craft full time and get paid well for it. I feel like I’ve seen both sides of the field, I’ve seen the loved artist seek for money, and the money making artist shut everyone out, so what was the point of all of this? Why are we doing this?
And I thought hard about it. My goal at the end of the day, is to be happy. That is the most important thing to me. If I start chasing sales it’ll shift my focus away from my own wellbeing.
I may not be making millions, I may not have hundreds of fans swarming my table, but as long as I am still happy doing what I do, I’ve succeeded. That is what is most important to me.
About Soul Finder
by Jacinta Maree
Publisher: Inked Rabbit Publishing
Publication Date: September 16th 2016
Genres: Dystopian, New Adult, Supernatural]
Since being discovered as Soulless, Nadia has become a target for both terrorist groups and government corporations. Now, her only hope for survival rests in the hands of the man sent out to kill her: Diesel, the Mad Dog terrorist.
Diesel is determined to free himself of the never ending curse of reincarnation and the haunting memories that plague his mind. But when his search leads him to Nadia, a greater desire stills him from taking her life.
Unable to see into Diesel’s cracking mind, Nadia instead puts her faith into his strength, fueled by eleven generations of unmatched rage and insanity. Their tight-rope relationship balances the two between life and death, love and rage, trust and betrayal.
Tension pulls at the hems of their dangerous companionship, and as time runs out all madmen must eventually make their choice.
Book two of the thrilling Immortal Gene series dives deeper into the danger of trusting your heart over your head.
Purchase book 1:
About the Author
Born in Melbourne Australia, Jacinta Maree considers herself a chocoholic with an obsession with dragons, video gaming and Japan. She writes a variety of genres including YA paranormal, steampunk, horror, new adult, dystopian and fantasy. Winner of 2014 Horror of the year and bestselling author, Jacinta writes to bring enjoyment to others while fulfilling her own need to explore the weird and the impossible.